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Offensive and adorable Valentine’s teddy bears – for couples who prefer banter over boring.

Valentine's Cunt Teddy Bears

(12 products)

Soft, Sweary, and Way Funnier Than Flowers

Our Valentine’s cunt teddy bears are the perfect mix of cute and completely inappropriate. They’re part of our Cunt Teddy Bears collection, a rude and ridiculously soft range designed for adults with a twisted sense of humour. Some bears are endearing, others just hurl insults. Either way, they’re spot-on for partners, crushes, or mates who prefer a laugh over a love poem.

Every rude teddy is made to order, shipped within one working day, and qualifies for our 3 for 2 offer with free UK delivery. Want to complete the set? Check out our full Valentine’s collection for matching cards and mugs.

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If you’re looking for a Valentine’s gift that’s sweet on the outside and savage on the inside, this is it. These teddies deliver a message—whether it’s a heartfelt “I love you” or a blunt “you’re a cheeky little cunt”—and do it with fluff, charm, and a healthy drop of sarcasm.

Perfect for partners who hate cliché gifts, friends who love a bit of banter, or anyone who deserves something soft that also swears. They’re even better when paired with one of our Valentine’s cunt cards or mugs.

Still browsing? Take a look at the full Valentine’s collection for even more hilariously rude ideas—or head over to our main teddy bear collection for non-Valentine’s designs that still drop the C-bomb in style.

All of our bears are dispatched fast, qualify for the 3 for 2 offer, and include free UK delivery. They’re proof you can be soft and savage at the same time.